I sit in my room and I am frozen in my seat. All of a sudden, I giggle, like a little girl. Something sweet in my heart rises up. I pause and enjoy the sensation…
My Lover is calling to me. He’s seen me go from place to place in the day; He’s seen me talk to this person and that, He’s seen me ponder on this and that. But now, enough. My Lover is calling to me.
Kneel down, He says. Come close. Come close and let me look in your eyes. Let me hold your hands. Come close and let me speak to your heart. Let me wipe your tears. Let me tell you what I think about you. Come close and let me heal. Let me make you laugh.
I want to hear your voice, I say. I want to hear your words. I want to hear you laugh. I want to know what your smile looks like. I want to feel your embrace.
At first, I come in with my concerns and my needs. But then, my Lover’s Spirit starts to lead me. Then, I pray His words, and not mine; I sing His songs, and not mine. I feel His joy, stream up in my belly. I laugh. My Lover makes me laugh. Tears stream down my face. I remember that to Him, my voice is like honey, like milk. So I laugh more, I speak more, I worship more. I remember my Lover sees no flaws in me. He doesn’t condemn me. I remember He sees His perfect self when He looks at me. I laugh more. I remember I am the love of His life. I am so much His love that He gave His life. I laugh more. Then I realize my burdens are lifted.
Nothing matters anymore at this point. Not a phone call, not my work, not another person. Nothing matters anymore. Love, You are good, I say.
At the height of it, I embrace myself in my arms. At first I think it’s my own embrace. But it feels so safe, feels so satisfying. My own arms won’t do that. It’s His embrace. I try to let go but I can’t. I laugh. Its His embrace. I try to let go again, but I still can’t. I laugh more. It’s His embrace. His lingering and assuring, embrace. I asked for it and He gave it to me. I laugh more. I don’t fight it any longer. I sit, curled up in a ball, and I enjoy His embrace for as long as it lasts. I laugh.
I won’t let go, I say. I don’t want to let go. I laugh.
Love you are good I say. Love you are good…Love you are good.
My Love is Christ.